This and That

  I was reading the other day that there a whole new set of pick up lines guys are now using.Some are kind of corny, but here they are.  

   My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

   Oh my god, I thought I was gay... then I met you.

Pinch me. "Why?" You're so fine I must be dreaming.  

 Smile if you want me!.  

 Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?  

You are the hottest thing since sunburn.  

 I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.  

 I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?  

 I envy your lipstick.  

Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too  

Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Wow! You're like Gillette. You're the best a man can get.
You look so sweet your giving me a toothache.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

Secret of the Patriots success

Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window.  "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."

Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and red sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Patriots logo flag, and in every window, a Pat Patriot towel.

Peyton looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame."

God said "So what's your point Peyton?"

 

"Well, why does Tom Brady get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said "Peyton, that's not Tom's house, it's mine."

Jimmy Buffett is coming to the Valley, Arizona West valley to be exact. 19,500 tickets were available and was completely sold out in 74 minutes.  He's not doing bad for an old beach bum rocker.